Celebrating

I've decided to celebrate the 10 year anniversary. Sick, I know. But, the point is that it's 10 years later and I have not only survived, but I'm doing really well. Cause for celebration. I should bake a cake.

Cute Cop has had a disastrous week. Poor guy. I wish so hard that I could help him. Wish I could make his life better.

I am going out with the Ambitious Attorney later this week. I don't really want to. But, he is a great guy and wants to spend time with me. He must be crazy! I guess time will tell.

Hurting

So many people are hurting right now. All because of one guy. It's sad. Luckily for me, I'm not one of them. I was. I had my day(s) of hurting. I had my lost mornings at work, curled up in a co-workers office, crying about a guy, who is indifferent to causing tears. But, today, I'm not the one crying. It feels good. I feel like me again. I'm busy. I have great friends who love me.

But, I do feel terrible for the girls who are crying today. I have a really hard time sitting by when there might be something I can do to help, to ease their pain. Ugh.

On a happier note, I'm off to a Wedding Shower. Hope springs eternal, I guess.

Recognizing

Earlier tonight I caught my own eye in the mirror and recognized a girl I haven't seen in a long time. It's been 10 years, or it will be 10 years on the 25th. Ten years. I didn't think I would get to be that girl again. But, I saw her tonight. The pain was still in her eyes, but there was also light and hope. I am convinced that you can survive anything. I even feel lucky in a weird way. I feel like I have a better sense of empathy and compassion than I might have had otherwise.

Life is funny. I'm just beginning to recognize that.

Ripping

I love my work. I love my staff. This has been a horrible week at work and that camaraderie that is so important to what we do is ripping apart. It's not my job to deal with personnel issues. But, for some reason, I'm kind of stuff in the middle of this fight.

Hopefully, this will all be in the past come Monday and we will just move on. Nevertheless, it's been an extremely stressful week and I'm so thrilled it's over. Although, I did wake up this morning thinking it was Friday and trying to decided if I really wanted to come to work. Thankfully, it's Saturday. So, I'm at work and no one else is. Which is my favorite part about Saturday mornings.

M and I are going to a movie tonight. I'm happy to help keep her busy. Lord knows I need to keep busy too. Doing my best not to think about Cute Cop. Although, he has a crush on M, which is just annoying. She isn't interested in him at all. But, of course, it still stings.

I'm trying to think of something cheerful, this has been so dreary. My ninja is coming to visit next month! That's exciting.

Adopting

My little Cooper is going to come live with me. I've been so lonely all alone in my little apartment. It will be lovely to have my little furry friend move in. Can't wait to get him.

Feeling

My heart is breaking a little this morning for a friend of a friend. This girl is supposed to be the enemy. The girl he chose over me, whatever. I feel sorry for her. And not in any silly patronizing way. Getting a fuller picture of who she is and the life that she has. It makes me wish I could somehow help her. Of course, I can't.

I love my life and I am grateful for it everyday. I love the people that are in my life. I've been really lonely this weekend and some of that sadness is still lingering, I guess. But, even in my sadness, I can smile and go about my day because I know it's temporary. I know I'll feel better by this afternoon.

But this girl. I can't imagine what her days are like. My guess is that Cute Cop is the brightest spot in them. I know that feeling too. Anyway. A little broken hearted today for her.

Snowing

Serious amount of snow. It's everywhere. It's a little suffocating and isolating. Today I'm lonely and sad. I know it will warm up tomorrow and the snow will be gone. Shouldn't I just relax and enjoy the snow? What the hell is wrong with me?