Laughing

Hafiz says often that he hears god laughing. I understand what he is talking about. My god is a Buddha/Santa Clause hybrid and, apparently, is rolling on the floor with a curious case of the giggles.

The shear irony of my life, it's enough to keep any god in stitches. I have spent all my adult life, all of my post college life not being ready. Not ready for love, not ready to settle down, not ready to stay in one place for long.

Now, I've gotten to where I was going. I have arrived. I feel truly myself and complete in this moment. So, of course, when I find the person I want to spend my life with...the timing is bad for him. Seriously? Seriously.

As I consider this, I hear god laughing, quietly at first. But, it's contagious and I have to laugh along. I want to yell. I want to cry. But, all I can do is laugh.

My optimism takes over and squashes each negative, self-pitying thought as quickly as it sprouts. I get to know him. Granted. I want to know him more. But, I get to know him. I get to be his friend. Some people, most people probably never get that chance.

So, tonight I sit in my little corner of my little coffee shop with my little latte and a smile dances across my face. When I catch my own eye in the mirror I realize I am content. Even if I don't get to have the life I had hoped for. I'm happy. And, I have to laugh.