Finding

I found a grey hair today. My first. The concept of aging has never bothered me, but the evidence of it struck me today. This comes on a day when I am finding my stride again. I have been in a really weird place for months. Between the goings on with my Dad, my hopeless devotion to a Cute Cop and the general malaise of the economy (which has had a drastic effect on fundraising), I have been off balance and unsure of myself, really since the first of the year.

Finally, I feel some element of normalcy returning. Dad is markedly better and improving all the time. Cute Cop is out of the picture and soon will be a distant memory and, though the economy isn't improving, fundraising has been getting better.

I've been really sick for a couple of weeks. But, even that is getting better. There is a spring in my step that has been missing. I'm optimistic again. I've missed that sensation. That excitement about what is around the next corner.

I'm finding that I'm enough. As trite as that sounds. Though I still long sometimes to have that person beside me to go through life with, I don't have to have him. I'm enough. I'm ok on my own. I'm grateful for that, because finding him isn't on my timetable.